Wow. Two days later and I'm still blown away by the courage, truth, and vulnerability everyone who attended Wednesday evening's Salon on FEAR brought into the room. I'm filled with gratitude for all of you. I had a vision for creating meaningful, mindful conversation around soul centered topics - thank YOU for making that vision a reality.
Some quick updates & reminders:
- Next month's Salon topic is Forgiveness. You can register through Next Door or the Soul Centered MeetUp group here.
- After reflecting on Wednesday evening's conversation I've decided to change June's topic (don't worry - it's still an "F-word"!) to Failure. The meetup event will be updated soon - you can find that info here.
- Meditative Movement is a weekly class offering at Tribe - one part life coaching, one part meditation/stillness, one part guided expressive movement. Register for that by clicking here or through the MeetUp group.
Now, without further ado... here are your notes! Enjoy!!
- Write a list of 5-10 fears that are on your mind
- Close your eyes and imagine yourself finding a way to rid yourself of those fears
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
- What does your current relationship with fear look like?
- Attempting the new & building on it - continuous expansion outside of comfort zone
- Trying to break away from it. Fear is safe, go-to way to operate in interactions
- Getting more comfortable
- More authentic
- Intimate relationship w/ it as expand and grow
- Holding onto fear
- Living someone elses life instead of your own - want to live my own life - go away fear
- Learn to step out of comfort zone
- Face fears
- Analysis paralysis
- Not starting, not taking action
- Acknowledge, plan, examine,
- Can't plan for everything
- Relationship is growing more mindful of when afraid
- Tied to lack of control
- Move past fear - because that's where the experiences are
- Overthinking, assuming the worst
- Holding people back
- Self-sabotage because of overthinking and fear of unknown
- Fear of judgement from others
- Work in progress
- Find balance with good and bad - is fear always a negative thing? What positivity can come from fear?
- Want to be fearless - relationship w/ fear is diminishing
- Step out and uncover more fears
- Being aware
- Fear of failure - based on expectations from others for you to be the best
- Want to escape thoughts of "what will other people think of me"
- Letting thoughts overtake you
Definition of Fear
- What is fear?
- Failure to act
- FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
- Knowing it's in your head
- Thought that everyone is judging me
- Second guessing self, doubting
- Mental & physical response (lack of action)
- Forget Everything And Run OR Face Everything And Rise
Fear: Friend or Enemy?
- 2 camps of fear: is one better than the other? How do you feel about these 2 takes? Go back to your meditation - what role did you play? Can you really push fear away?
- Punch fear in the face
- Feel the fear and do it anyway
- Meditation - Inviting fear to the dinner table and making friends
- Redefining fear - when you're excited about something experience same feelings as w/ fear
- Fear punching - not effective - not addressing the issue
- Fear v. worry
"Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but doesn't actually get you there." ~ Van Wilder
- Fear is seed/root and worry is thoughts going through head
- Fear linked to primal, deeper issues like self identity
- Playing devil's advocate in own head - "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
- Too good to be true - become sure that everything will fall apart/ you'll get "found out"
- Living in the past is depression, living in the future is anxiety
- Fear is binary (have it or don't) Worry is continuous state (Is the house on fire - yes or no?)
- Fear - where is it coming from?
- IT'S SUBJECTIVE!
- Self-awareness : root of worry and fear
- Brene Brown's research - vulnerability - ability to make self vulnerable
- Injury from past - hasn't fully gone away - scar from past changes way you live today
- Unhealed injuries create fears of current & future situations. Fear now is based on past events.
- Fear causes anxiety & negative emotion
Sharing is Caring: tips & tricks for managing fear
- Recall, exaggerate and remind self that the past fear was ridiculous
- Remembering being nervous about going to an event and realizing the postive outcome and being happy you went
- Focusing on human reaction of the fear and not the fear itself, emotional self-awareness. Intellectualize the fear by acknowledging it and assessing it.
- Keep your fear close and have a conversation with it
- Adding something positive - especially when fear is paralyzing you (cooking, journaling, any activity that you know puts you at peace)
- Future thinking - what will my life look like in 5, 10, 15 years if I let this fear stand in the way of my action
- Fear can be a good motivator
- What can I do to help this person
- Imagining yourself getting out of a situation - from a 3rd party perspective
- Childhood issues - rewriting childhood. Digging deep to find the things that are amazing and focus on that.
Prompt: How is Fear useful?
- Someone needing help and getting into helper mode
- Make fear always a positive thing - it's challenging you to be better
- Face what you're afraid of to prove fear wrong
- Even if you fail you'll only be in the same pl
- Self awareness - learning from the fear
- Dig deep - what is the fear?
- Helpful to look at personality types, knowing where you thrive. Example: if you thrive in exploring use it to handle your fear (by exploring possible outcomes and how you want to see yourself in a certain situation)
- Helpful to hear people taking actions after the self-awareness step
- Good things happen once you acknowledge fear and move through/past it
- Vulnerability needs to be attached to our emotional existence. Vulernability not acknowledged in our culture. Be the vulnerable person. Allow yourself to be vulnerable
- Maybe I have conqured fear in more ways than I knew
- Lots of gratitude!
- Endless journey - you can always go further/deeper
- Don't just think and act - pause and reflect and feel
- It's good to be vulnerable
- Feeling like you're not alone
- Give self same patience you give to others
- It's ok to feel your fear - what's the worst that will happen?
- Maybe fear is outdated - we've evolved - give fear less power
- Don't let your scars prevent you from living your fullest life
- Put fear in the trunk and let yourself have the control
- Remember that sharing with others can help you through it
- Fear is as simple or complex as we want to make it
- Keep trying and learn new approaches
- Fear is blissful avoidance
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were bron to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Nelson Mandela
Podcast: The Life Coach School
Book: Evolve Your Brain by Joe Dispenza (I have not read this but right after our Salon I listened to episode #110 of The Life Coach School podcast and she mentioned this book that discusses how our brains go into "fight or flight" from modern events and how you can evolve your own brain.)
- Book: The Places The Scare you by Pema Chodron
- Book: Change your questions change your life by Marilee G. Adams
- Book: Life on Fire by Kim Dinan
- Book: The ONE Thing by Gary Keller
- Movie Reference: Life of Pi
- TV Show Reference: Limitless
- Pinterest board of fear quotes